


chiaroscuro

by qqtahng



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Minor Character Appearances - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24274870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qqtahng/pseuds/qqtahng
Summary: Lancelot and Vane get into a fight, but in a way neither of them ever expected.
Relationships: Lancelot & Vane (Granblue Fantasy), Lancelot/Vane (Granblue Fantasy)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	1. scuro

**Author's Note:**

> minor spoilers for fire lanvane unit's fate episodes

“How are we doing on that dragon smoke investigation?”

“Honestly? It’s been pretty hard to find anything new on it… I hope Siegfried manages to find something on it somewhere… Oh! Maybe Percy can ask Aglovale if he knows anything?”

Lancelot rubbed his temples, “Maybe, but I’d rather not have to depend on so many outside sources for an internal problem. It might put Feendrache in a bad position if word of this were to suddenly leak out.”

Vane crossed his arms as he leaned back into his chair, “I mean, you’re right, but at this rate I don’t know where else to turn to. I’m pretty sure we’ve looked all of our archives three times over looking for anything new.” He sighed, “Man, I know I didn’t like it before, but I’m _really_ tired of reading now.”  
  
Lancelot had to laugh at that. Vane was certainly not someone who could sit still for long. Even as he did paperwork if he didn’t get up to jump around every hour or so he would get restless and lose focus. “Well, I appreciate the effort you put in regardless, my dear vice-captain.”

That elicited a breathy laugh from Vane, “And I yours, my dear captain.” He parroted it back in a mock-posh accent. That caused the two of them to burst out into a fit of laughter. 

“Alright, alright,” said Lancelot, calming himself down, “I think we should wrap up for tonight, agreed?”

“Agreed!”

As Lancelot rose to stretch his cramped joints (“Ha! I heard your spine pop, old man.” “Oh shush, you’re not far behind me!”), Vane filed away all the unfinished paperwork they had. 

The two bid their good nights to the guards on night watch, and headed towards their respective rooms, chatting merrily along the way. Vane’s quarters were just slightly before Lancelot’s, and he bid his captain a sleepy, yet still cheerful good night. Lancelot smiled fondly and wished him good dreams. He walked down the rest of the hallway until he reached his door. He opened it and shouldn't have been surprised by the state it was in, but he sighed in disappointment nonetheless. It wasn’t that he didn’t _want_ to clean up, he just didn’t have the time. And admittedly just because he wanted to do it doesn’t mean that he necessarily _liked_ the process of cleaning. It was just a necessary evil in Lancelot’s books.

He wondered how Vane kept his life and clean living space so well balanced. He’d remember to ask one of these days.

Going through his nightly routine of showering, brushing his teeth, and changing into his nightclothes, Lancelot did not realize how tired he was until his head hit the pillow and was immediately overtaken by sleep. 

* * *

Lancelot blinked his eyes open. It certainly wasn’t morning, and he found himself inexplicably standing in a field of purple-ish black mist.

_Ah, it’s you._

He whipped his head around wildly trying to pinpoint the direction of the voice, “Who goes there? Show yourself!” 

_Mm, I don’t think I take orders from the likes of you._

Instinctively, he reached for his twinblades sheathed on his back, only to find himself grasping at thin air. He was still in his sleep attire, with not a weapon to be seen.

_As alert as ever, I see. You’ll have to do._

Still trying to pinpoint the source of the voice, he turned around and briefly saw the image of a stone dragon before he was slammed with darkness.

Lancelot gasped awake and bolted up to the sound of Vane knocking at his door. “Lan-chan? You up? It’s time to get dressed.”  
  
“Yeah! Yeah, I’m awake, don’t worry.” He had hoped his voice didn’t betray how rattled he was. He slapped himself lightly and readied himself to face the day.

* * *

Facing the day after the dream was more difficult than he thought. It started with a mild headache that progressively worsened throughout the day. It got to the point where he had to ask Vane if he could handle any of the scheduled plans and events that were more strenuous than paperwork. 

“Sure, I don’t mind. You feeling okay Lan-chan? You can take a day off if you need to.”

“I’m fine. I just need something for this headache, it’s just absolutely killing me.” 

“I could go get some medicine? I need to head down that direction anyway to get a report. Oh! I could make some tea too?”

“Gods, you are a lifesaver, Vane. Thank you.”

Vane gave him a light pat on the shoulder in acknowledgement and set off on his errand. 

When Vane had left the room, Lancelot breathed a heavy sigh. His vision was swimming and he couldn’t read a word of the papers set in front of him. He pinched the bridge of his nose and willed the throbbing ache to go away. He was trying to run an order here, dammit. A headache was a pathetic excuse to get in the way of that.

_Oh, if only I was just a headache._

Lancelot froze at the sound of that voice. 

“You-” was all he had time to say before a blistering pain hit him. It felt like his head was about to split into two. 

_My time has finally come, and you, Little Knight, will help me._

The last thing he could feel was his mind clouding in a thick, heavy fog before he lost consciousness.

* * *

Some time had passed before Vane returned. 

“Lan-chan, here’s that headache medicine for you.” He stopped in his tracks, and furrowed his brow into a somewhat concerned expression.

“Ah, hello Vane.”

Vane’s eyes narrowed, something felt off. Very off. 

“You’re... not Lan-chan. Who are you.” It was less of a question and more of a demand.

“Wow, found out so easily. I was hoping I’d last a little longer than this in hiding. Well, I suppose in the end there was never any other way.” The not-Lancelot stood from its seat and raised its arms.

Vane’s eyes widened as he barely braced himself in time for the blast of dark and ice magic he was hit with.

The force of it sent him flying. He crashed through the office walls and into the hallway filled with alarmed knights, debris and dust scattering everywhere. 

“Vice-captain Vane!? Wh-what’s happening!?”

A groan escaped him as Vane tried to collect his thoughts while his head was spinning. He squeezed his eyes shut and blinked a few times. He tried to speak but all that came out was a wheeze.

Vane coughed, “No time to explain, tell everyone to get into their battalions!” He struggled to sit up, “Fall into civilian defense order, prioritize the blocks closest to the headquarters and the ones near the city entrance. I’ll try to hold off whatever this thing is and buy you time. You have your orders, go!” 

“Y-yessir!” Very rarely did Vane exhibit such serious authority, and immediately all knew this was not a matter to be taken lightly. All knights in the vicinity saluted and dispersed to ready their battalions to protect the civilian population of Feendrache. 

An emergency bell rang out, chiming its deep, resounding chimes to let the Order know what the current plan was.

Vane unstrapped his halberd from his back, took a deep breath, and rose to his feet. 

The dust from the impact cleared, and what stood before him was the figure of Lancelot, now sporting eerie purple veins running down the sides of his face and down his neck. His eyes changed from their usual calm blue hue into a sickly glowing yellow. What pupils that were normally round had turned into reptilian-like slits. 

It cracked its neck and sauntered towards him, “Hm, resilient aren’t you?”

“Wouldn’t be much of a vice-captain if I went down so easily, would I?”

“I suppose not, but it would have made it so much easier for me.”

Vane clicked his tongue in annoyance, “I don’t know who or what you are, pal, but I’m gonna need you to hightail it on out of here.”

“Ah, a country bumpkin are we? Trying to masquerade as someone as high and mighty as the vice-captain of such a _prestigious_ order of knights?”

“Shut up! I’ve got more important things to do than listen to you run your mouth.” Vane snarled, “And why do you look like Lan-chan? Is this a joke?”

“Oh, but I _am_ your precious Lan-chan.” It cooed back in a cloyingly poisonous voice.

“Stop that! Give him back! Hey, Lan-chan, I know you’re not taking this sitting down!”

“Lancelot’s currently unavailable right now. Any further comments will be directed to me and me only. Now,” It stopped walking and raised an arm again, “Perish.”

“Oh, crap.” Vane rolled out of the way of the dark ice magic blast this time. Leaving the wall behind him as the unfortunate target. It collapsed on itself, leaving a sizable gap in the building’s infrastructure as well as kicking up more dust in the meanwhile.

Vane couldn’t see anything through the dust clouds, but he certainly felt it when something kicked him _hard_ in the stomach and sent him flying through the aforementioned hole in the wall and skidding onto the ground outside.

“Ow… that was dirty.” He groaned and rolled himself over on his arms to push himself up. 

He heard footsteps stepping over the rubble, “All’s fair in love and war, mate.” A wicked grin was plastered on not-Lancelot’s face. It unnerved Vane how much that expression absolutely did not belong on Lancelot’s features.

Vane hauled himself up into an appropriate battle stance, noting that at least that scuffle lured them both outside. Hopefully the building wouldn’t take much more damage with the two of them out of its way. 

As if sensing the change in Vane’s willingness to engage, the entity proceeded to alight it’s hands (they looked more like claws, Vane noted) in a ghastly purple smoke, and charged straight at him. 

His halberd easily caught the strike, but that wasn’t to say it wasn’t powerful. Vane grunted at the surprising amount of force put into the attack. He pushed back regardless and managed to catch a swipe on his opponent’s upper arm. Blood trickled down as the protective armor crumpled easily beneath the halberd’s blade.  
  
“Heh… You really are strong. But remember: anything you do to me, your dear Lan-chan will feel as well.” 

“Shit... “ Vane muttered under his breath. He’d have to be more careful from here on out. He subconsciously shifted to a more defensive stance.

The entity noticed what he was trying to do before he realized it himself. “Well, isn’t that precious. Hoping that this’ll resolve itself if you wait it out long enough, eh? Waiting for Lancelot to miraculously break free and stop all this? How roman-”

It cut itself off as not-Lancelot’s face contorted itself into something that resembled a pained expression.

“Hng… grk… V…Vane…”

The entity suddenly clutched its head, as if it were in agony, “Va…ne… run… now…!”

“Lan-chan!”

“Go…! This… can’t hold… much longer…!”

“No way!” Vane yelled back vehemently, “Not until you’re back safe and sound!”

“Urgh…! Why… AGH!”

The entity shook its head violently and snarled, “What a pitiful consciousness, a futile struggle. This vessel may take more time than expected to adapt to…”

It turned its head towards Vane, its irate expression absolutely poisonous on Lancelot’s face, “Well now, vice-captain, what will you do about this?”

It raised an arm and a mass of dark energy swirled around it. The other arm unsheathed one of Lancelot’s twin swords and began to channel ice magic through it. Humanoid figures of ice began forming at its command, and the pulses of purple magic flowed into them. A small army of ice crystal figures materialized and all shuddered for a moment before suddenly bursting into life and all headed towards the city. 

“No!” Vane cried.

He swung his halberd and caught two of them by the blade, taking out large chunks of their forms. It only slowed them down as the crystalline figures slowly began to regenerate themselves, not stopping their pace towards the city.

His eyes widened in surprise.

“Do you really think you can afford to take your attention off me?”

Hearing that, Vane barely raised his halberd in time to catch the swing of the entity’s swords. It had drawn the other sword and now mimicked the famed twinblade style that had come to define the captain of the Order of the White Dragons. 

“Oh, how lovely it would be to watch the city fall to ruins once I take care of you.”

Vane grit his teeth, “The Order won’t be pushed around so easily.” He pushed with all the force he could muster to thrust the entity off of him. “I’m counting on you guys.” He whispered and sent a quick prayer in the general direction of the city before pointing his weapon at his opponent.

“Okay, I’m gonna ask again: Who are you and what have you done with Lan-chan.”

“My, my! How intimidating!” 

Vane bit back a retort and ignored its barbs, “Lan-chan! I know you’re in there! You’ve got to keep fighting this! I believe in you!” His grip tightened on his weapon, “I know you’re stronger than this!”

The figure merely scoffed and launched itself at Vane, unleashing blow after lightning fast blow.

Vane struggled to find a way to keep himself from sustaining too many attacks while also thinking of ways to push the entity back without hurting Lancelot. Defensive battles were nothing new to him, but it was difficult to actively hold himself back from hurting his opponent even as his opponent was hellbent on hurting him.

“C’mon, Lan-chan, keep fighting that thing with all you have!”

The entity slashed and dodged with all the grace and majesty he knew Lancelot was capable of, all the while throwing taunts and jabs in his direction. While he did frequently spar with Lancelot, it was very different than having to face this unhinged and nearly feral style of fighting he was experiencing now. 

It pissed him off to no end. 

Vane grit his teeth as he parried another blow from not-Lancelot. He didn’t know how long it had been; his sense of time was lost as he focused all his being on this possessed Lancelot. His body had accumulated no small number of nicks, bruises, and gashes. This battle of attrition was taking a toll on him, and the entity noticed this as it saw an opening to pierce one of Lancelot’s twin blades into his side.

Vane threw himself out of the way fast enough to avoid it skewering him, but not before a sizable gash opened on his side, staining a portion of his clothes bright red. He hissed at the blossoming pain, but did not recoil. An opening presented itself as the entity scrambled to draw itself back into a fighting stance, having thrust too far forward with too much power. Vane saw this moment happen in slow motion, and mustered all the willpower he had and swung his halberd like a baseball bat; he dared not point the sharp edges at his opponent, instead aiming to hit the entity with the surface of the ax-flat. 

It made direct contact, and Vane thought he heard the sounds of bones cracking from the force as he sent not-Lancelot skidding across the ground and crashing into the side of their headquarters. He winced as he saw a sizable dust cloud form around the carnage. 

“Shit,” Vane muttered. He was breathing heavily and clutched his wounded side, “That might have been too much.”

Evidently, it was not too much as he suddenly found himself slammed onto the ground, with something gripping his neck tightly.

“Well,” the entity snarled, a bit of distortion leaking into Lancelot’s voice, and a disgusting mixture of spittle and blood flying into his face as it spoke, “I have to give you kudos for that move.”

Vane grasped at the choke-hold on his neck, managing to keep the grip just loose enough for him to be able to breathe. “F…uck.”

“I’ve waited thousands of years to be reborn into this world. I was only strong enough to possess that wretched statue before, but now,” It pushed down on Vane, “Now, I’ve taken this Little Knight right here. You two foiled my resurrection process before, but I guess I should thank you. After all, it provided me with a chance to steal this one.” It snarled into his face.

“That… at the… ceremony,” Vane wheezed out, “The statue… was you?”

“A sharp memory you have.” It said in a scathing voice, absolutely acidic. It pressed its grip further into Vane’s throat. 

“What will you do now, _vice-captain?”_ It bit out, mockingly.

Vane struggled against the inhumanly strong grip it had on his neck, “Give… him back…!”

The entity cackled, “Oh, if only it were that easy. Any other last words before I end you?”

“Ye…ah. Sorry… for this… Lan-chan.”

“What?”

Vane reared back his head as much as he could and smashed it against not-Lancelot’s. 

“ARGH!” A trickle of blood appeared on not-Lancelot’s forehead as it recoiled in pain. A similar wound had probably opened up on Vane’s forehead as well, but the current moment was the wrong time to care about that.

Gasping as the pressure around his throat was lifted, Vane coughed a few times before reaching towards his knocked-away halberd. It was then that the entity released another ear splitting screech.

“NO! STAY DOWN YOU… WRETCH.” It gripped its hair in pain, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE.”

Halberd now in hand, Vane took up an unsteady defensive position again, breathing heavily. He continued to watch as the entity writhed in pain, its swords lay dropped and forgotten on the ground. 

Clutching its head, it continued to scream for several minutes—cursing, threatening, raging against whatever else was in its head causing it this trouble. The yelling dissolved into incoherent and feral shrieks; the entity sank to its knees, still clutching its head. Suddenly, its head tilted upwards, hands clawing at its face and black smoke billowing out of its mouth; at first in a forceful spew before it slowed down to a mere trickle of wisps, weakly groaning when nothing else came out. 

Then, it went quiet. Its arms dropped to its sides, limp and motionless.

“V…ane…”

“Huh?”

“Vane…?”

“Lan-chan! Lan-chan can you hear me?” All pretenses of battle forgotten, Vane struggled to his feet and rushed over to Lancelot. “Lan-chan?”

He gingerly held Lancelot’s face in his hands, “Lancelot? Hey, hey, I know you’re there. You okay?” 

“Nn… Vane…?”

“Oh, oh thank the heavens… you’re back. You’re back!” Vane surged forward and enveloped Lancelot in a great big bear hug, sweeping him right up. “I knew you could beat it!”

Lancelot felt the breath knocked out of him as his consciousness slowly unclouded. How Vane could muster such strength when he had so many injuries was beyond him. 

“You’re hurt.” Lancelot realized, once he was put back down on his own two feet, “All over the place.”

“It’s fine, this is nothing. Are you okay? Anything else feel weird?” Vane cupped his face in his hands, checking for any signs of serious injury.

“I should be the one asking you that!" He hoped Vane didn't see the heat he felt rise to his cheeks at the sudden, close contact. It probably helped that his face was caked in dirt, dried blood (most likely Vane's, Lancelot realized with a wince), and grime. Fortunately, it seemed anyway that Vane's gaze was set carefully looking over to see if any serious damage had been done. 

"Hm, well, you look okay for now. But let's both get checked just in case, yeah?" An easy-going smile replaced the worried frown he had earlier.

"What do you mean 'just in case'? Vane, you're literally- Urgh _…_!”

"Lan-chan!"

A familiar sharp pain felt like it split his head open, and a blinding light flashed before them, stinging his eyes. 

The next second, Lancelot heard a choked noise.

 _“A parting gift… ‘til we meet again.”_ Lancelot heard a faint voice whisper, and a trial of purple smoke flew off, fast and away.

“Lan…chan?”

The light faded and Lancelot’s eyes opened and widened at the sight of Vane’s normally cheery yellow tunic rapidly turning into a deep crimson. At the center of the spread was a dark purple icicle embedded in his abdomen, piercing through his torso and exiting out of his back. 

Vane coughed and blood leaked out the side of his mouth. 

“No… Oh no no no no no…” Lancelot frantically searched his person for any healing potion vials he had on him, to no avail. 

“Lan-chan… Hey, Lancelot.” Even as he sustained a grievous injury, Vane gently cradled Lancelot’s face in an attempt to calm him, mouth still curved upwards in a hopeful grin, “It’s gone for good now, right?”

“I-it should be-Yes, but…! Vane now is not the time for that.” Lancelot frantically pressed against the edges of the wound in hopes of stymieing the flow of blood. Even as panic clouded his mind, he had enough sense to not pull the protrusion out for fear of Vane bleeding out. 

“Okay. That’s a relief. I knew you could do it…” Vane blinked heavily as he began to stumble forward. Lancelot caught him, though he struggled to remain upright. 

“Vane, don’t you dare close your eyes on me. Don’t you dare!” His voice rose, both in pitch and volume. “You don’t get to leave this easily.” His voice cracked on that one.

With what seemed to be a large amount of effort, Vane’s eyes fluttered, half-lidded and heavy, “Don’t worry Lan-chan, it’s okay.” He raised his hand and gently wiped a spot of blood off Lancelot’s cheek. “It’s okay if it was for you.”

“That’s exactly why that's _not_ okay, Vane. I need you to stay with me, captain’s orders. Do not close your eyes.”

Running on fumes, his body ached from a battle he wasn't even conscious for, and watching his most cherished person seemingly inch closer towards his untimely fate made Lancelot feel like he was about to lose it. Even so, Vane smiled softly, brushed away Lancelot’s unruly hair and tucked it behind his ear, “You know I always fall asleep before you though, right?”

“How can you be this calm? Vane, please you have to work with me here.” Lancelot pleaded, shifting positions so that he had one of Vane’s arms slung over his shoulders, trying to support him in an effort to keep him upright. “We’ll get you treated.” Lancelot cursed, “Dammit, why? Why did things turn out like this?”

“Haha… I guess… love has a funny… way of working, huh?”

“What?”

“It’s… okay Lancelot, you were always my light. I’m glad I got to see it again, one more time.”

With a sigh, Vane’s eyes fluttered closed and he went limp. 

“NO! NO, VANE.” Lancelot could hear himself go hoarse, screaming Vane’s name over and over again. His throat started to hurt. His vision was swimming. 

“Lancelot? Vane?”

The last thing he saw before he went unconscious were the twin captains of the Grandcypher, Gran and Djeeta.

“Help, Vane is…”

And then all went black.


	2. chiaro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i forgot to add: small spoilers for vane's flb fate episode

Lancelot jerked awake and sat up gasping for breath, “Vane!” 

His arm was outstretched, reaching, and he was breathing hard as he took in his unfamiliar surroundings. He relaxed a little when he realized he was just in the Order’s medbay. It was concerning to be housed in one of the private rooms, which was usually reserved for patients who had undergone intensive care, but he knew where he was at least. 

His arms felt oddly numb, which was appropriate as on a cursory inspection Lancelot found that they were tightly wrapped in bandages. The weird part was they had a lavender hue to them, as opposed to the usual sterile white.

A curtain separated him and the other patient being housed in this room. Lancelot could make out a tuft of golden blond hair, and his eyes widened. 

Before he could confirm his fears, he heard the doorknob begin to jitter, leading to the door bursting open and revealing a set of familiar faces.

“Lancelot!” 

“Lan-chan!”

“Mister Lancelot!”

“You’re alive!”

Gran, Djeeta, and Lyria tumbled over themselves trying to get into the room; and from their haphazard pile they all grinned with relief over seeing him alive and well. Vyrm flew in from behind them, avoiding that mess altogether.

Lancelot grimaced a little at having his childhood nickname used by someone that wasn’t Vane, but he knew it came from a good place. “I’ve told you before, can we please drop the ‘Lan-chan’? It’s kind of embarrassing.”

Djeeta was the first to get up, “Aw… but Vane uses it all the time.” Gran helped Lyria up and interjected, “C’mon Djeeta, you know Vane’s special to him.”

“That’s… Well…” Lancelot’s face heated up at the way Gran emphasized ‘special’, but not for long as he remembered what he was doing before the quartet had made their entrance. 

Lancelot threw off the covers and got to his feet unsteadily. He grunted when he realized how sore his legs were and began to stumble. Gran rushed to his side before he fell, “Woah there, bud. I don’t think the doctors cleared this yet.” Djeeta came to support his other side. 

“It’s-I’m fine,” Lancelot grunted, “But, is he…?” 

With the twins still supporting him, Lancelot reached with a shaky hand to pull back the curtains. 

“No, no, no, no…”

Before him lay Vane, who would have been the spitting image of peacefully sleeping had his body not been almost completely covered with bandages, gauze, and medical tape. 

“Vane…” Lancelot choked out, “I…”

Gran and Djeeta grunted at the weight of Lancelot suddenly going limp on them. The two kept a firm grip however, with Gran motioning for Lyria and Vyrn to bring a chair over. They gingerly lowered Lancelot onto the seat Lyria placed near Vane’s bedside. The twins looked at each other in silent agreement. 

Djeeta spoke up, “Well, uh, I know we just got here and all… but… you look like you need a moment, we’re gonna take our leave, but we’ll be back later, ‘kay?”

Lancelot nodded stiffly. He was thankful for their company, he truly was, even if it was only briefly. But seeing the aftermath of what had happened to Vane was a shock. And shock was just absolutely one hell of a drug. 

He was vaguely aware of the door clicking shut, announcing that his visitors had left him.

Unable to look away from the solemn scene before him, Lancelot hesitantly reached out a hand to brush away some of Vane’s hair that had fallen over his eyes. 

_Hands that did this to him in the first place._

He quickly jerked his hand back at that thought. 

Lancelot was sure the entity had left him completely, but the damage it did remained. Both physically and mentally. Repentance could be dealt with later, he was suddenly exhausted, despite only just having woken up. It was all he could do to drag himself back into his bed and drown in all the thoughts he had, until a wave of sleepy darkness mercifully overtook him.

* * *

It had been a few days since both of them had been admitted.

Gran and Djeeta came to visit every day for as long as they could stay in Feendrache. They explained their presence in the city: really, Lyria was craving Vane’s absolutely divine homemade cheesecake, which then spread to Vyrn, and then Gran, and finally to Djeeta until they decided to find a job via Sierokarte that was requested from Feendrache as a flimsy excuse to visit. When they landed, the ice creatures were already wreaking havoc and they wasted no time in lending a hand. When suddenly, they had all stopped and fell to the ground, shattering their forms. Lyria sensed an odd flickering of a powerful presence located where the Order of the White Dragons’ headquarters were, and so the group rushed to find both Vane and Lancelot collapsed on the ground. 

“You were covered in scratches and bruises, but parts of your skin had this weird purple stuff on it.” Djeeta wiggled her fingers at the mention of that “weird purple stuff”, as if embellishing how creepy it was. “And like, doc said you had a few smashed ribs. Ouch.”

Gran lightly slapped her shoulder, “Hey now, the purple isn't really his fault.” His tone turned more serious, “Vane though… He was really rough. I think if we were any later there wouldn’t be any chance that he would’ve made it; at least that’s what all the medics said after. Lyria managed to summon Sylph and ask her to keep Vane from getting any worse while we tried to get a hold of Funf. I know she’s like a magic prodigy and stuff, but even then it’s still a bit iffy now if he’s actually alright or not. Like, obviously he’s breathing, but waking up...” Gran trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

Lancelot was shocked by that. An Eternal had to get involved with their affairs, and even one of them wasn’t enough to guarantee anything. The feelings of shame, and regret, and _failure_ welled up intensely within him. 

“Hey—Lancelot! What the hell?!” 

He wasn’t even aware that his body had moved on its own, punching the wall and leaving his knuckles bloodied in an act of subconscious frustration. Gran held back his arm before Lancelot could repeat the gesture. “Don’t do that, man. You’re already hurt enough as it is. Vyrn, go get someone to check this out.” The little red dragon was already zipping out of the room, tossing a quick “Already on it!” over his shoulder as he went to fetch a medic. 

Lancelot grimaced at the bandages wrapping his knuckles slowly turned crimson, mixing in with the, again, odd lavender hue. He realized he didn’t actually know why that was.

“Are these bandages weird for a reason or is this just special captain privileges.” Lancelot asked dryly. Gran stared at him for a moment, before deciding that he wasn’t likely to cause any more injuries to himself and let go of his arm. 

“Well, remember how I said you had that weird purple stuff in your skin?” Djeeta began, “These are special bandages designed to absorb… whatever the hell that stuff was out of you. Doctors said it was really weird, almost like a… poisonous curse or something. You can thank Funf again for coming up with a solution for that.”

“It’s also probably why you feel all achy in your arms and legs.” Gran picked up where Djeeta left off, “It’s kinda slowing down your body’s natural recovery, and since whatever that thing was pushed your body past its natural limits for uh, I’m guessing it was for a while at least. You’re gonna feel all around kinda shitty ‘til it heals.” 

Lancelot nodded curtly, “Well, it’s not like I really have a right to complain about it. It could’ve been a lot worse, all things considered, and honestly it probably would have been deserved.” He subtly glanced over to Vane. It wasn’t really as subtle as he thought it was as the twins shot each other concerned glances and Lyria looked like she was about to cry.

Lyria then spoke up timidly, “Lancelot, sir, I know all of us are thankful that Vane held back as much as he did.” She paused as she considered her next words carefully, “But, don’t you think he’d be sad to hear you say that?” She gripped the hem of her dress tightly, “He tried so hard not to hurt you, doesn’t it feel like you’re ignoring his efforts if you say that?”

That caused Lancelot to freeze up. 

Of course he knew that. 

When they came back from the wyvern slaying mission, the other knights emerged absolutely and completely unscathed. Vane, on the other hand, returned sporting a not insignificant number of scars and bandages covering him. And yet he returned, smile wide, arms slung over his fellow knights in camaraderie, (ignoring their protests of how he did all the heavy lifting, that the rest of them only secured the surrounding area. “No, no! I’m telling you all, it was a group effort! Really!”) and retelling the tale of how they all worked together to keep the village safe and ended that pack of wyverns’ reign of terror. If anyone got hurt under Vane’s watch he was known to take it as a personal failing of his own. 

Lancelot’s knuckles turned white as he gripped his sheets harder, “You’re right, Lyria. I know you’re right. But,” He sighed, suddenly very tired and leaned back into the pillows that propped him up, “He didn’t deserve to be caught up in any of that. No one did, but especially not him. Not in the way he did.”

Silence filled the room. There wasn’t any way any of them could disagree with that. No one deserved to get caught up in all that.

Vyrn returned shortly with a nurse following closely behind him. He looked at the newly soiled bandages and began to change it while lecturing Lancelot about “not making their jobs harder, please. We know you knights tend to get hurt but goodness, don’t do it to yourselves at the very least.” Lancelot had the sense to look guilty at that, and apologized.

“Well, as long as you have the sense to not to do it again it’s fine. Oh, to you guys,” He gestured at the Grandcypher crew, “Visiting hours will be over soon. You best wrap up any visits you have while you have the time.”

“Ah, thanks for reminding us. Time really flies when there’s so much to catch up on.” Gran thanked him.

The nurse nodded and left, closing the door with a click.

“Guess we should be going soon, huh.” Djeeta sighed, “We’re always so busy taking jobs during the day it’s hard to find time to visit.”

“No, I’m thankful that you all even made time to visit us. Truly, I am grateful.” Lancelot lowered his head and bowed as well as he could while sitting in bed.

Gran urged him to sit up, “Hey now, no need for any of that stuff. You know we’re always happy to lend a hand. We just want both of you to get better soon.”

“We should probably start leaving, though.” Lyria said reluctantly, “They’ll kick us out otherwise…”

Djeeta sighed, stood up, and stretched, “Well, guess we can always climb in through the windows again when no one’s looking tonight.”

Lancelot blanched at that, “Please do not.” Then he anxiously added, “Wait, what do you mean ‘again’?”

“That’s never actually happened before.” Gran assured Lancelot, “ _Right,_ Djeeta?”

“Right, right,” Djeeta waved off her twin, “It’s never happened. On record.” She gave a devilish grin.

“RIGHT OKAY WE’LL BE ON OUR WAY AND VISIT AGAIN TOMORROW AND ABSOLUTELY NOT TONIGHT ILLEGALLY BYEEEEE!” Gran said in a rush as he corralled his crewmates through the door before a medical official could scold them about overstaying their welcome.

Lancelot truly was grateful that the crew cared as much about them as they did, but sometimes it did feel like an emotional hurricane passed by whenever he had a conversation with them. 

All he could really do was sigh and pull the covers over himself, and let the comforting fog of sleep overtake him.

* * *

Roughly a week since their admittance had passed before Vane gained consciousness.

Both Percival and Siegfried paid a visit before that time.

“Tch, these things just won’t stop bothering us will they.” Percival sneered. “Sounds like one of those things that had my brother under their sway. Those otherworldly beings or what have you.” He crossed his arms indignantly and leaned against the wall. “Maybe it was a remnant of that which escaped when we purged them.”

Siegfried had sat himself in a chair and wore a pensive look on his face, “It said it would return, and I doubt any of us are looking forward to that day.” He steepled his hands, “With all that’s happened thus far, it pains me to say I’ve yet to find anything of use to us. I’ll be sure to redouble my efforts, but in the meantime you two should rest up.”

The two had taken their leave after checking up on Lancelot and leaving their prayers and wishes for recovery for Vane.

On the day Vane awoke, it was uneventful. No visitors had shown up, and the weather outside was fair.

It was a little after noon, and Lancelot was attempting to catch up on paperwork; he still hadn’t been cleared to leave yet, but he could at least set up a lap desk and do _something_ as the mess around him was gradually cleaned up. 

He froze when he heard a weak groan coming from the other side of the room. 

“Vane? Vane, are you awake?” Lancelot struggled to keep himself calm as he shoved his blankets and work papers off of him and rushed over to Vane’s bed.

“Lan-chan…?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Don’t worry you’re safe. Everything’s fine now.”

“Oh…” Vane grunted as he tried to push himself into a sitting position, “Where are we…?”

“Woah there, just lie back down, okay? You’re still very rough right now.” Lancelot gently pushed him back down, “We’re in the medbay. You’ve been out for… well, it wasn’t exactly a comforting amount of time.” Eight days, three hours, and some handful of minutes, if Lancelot wanted to be accurate, but who was counting? “How are you feeling?”

“Oh… uh…” Any sentence Vane was about to form was cut off by a growl from his stomach. “Ah, hungry? I guess?”

Lancelot grinned in relief. Hungry was good, hungry was normal. “Oh thank goodness. I’ll go find a nurse.” 

He got up hastily and poked his head out the door. “Ah, excuse me!” He waved down two nurses walking in his direction, “He’s awake! And hungry, apparently.”

She spoke hurriedly to the nurse next to her. He nodded and set off into another hallway while she made her way down to his room, “That’s some good news. I’ll be right there to take some vitals. Someone will bring him some food shortly.”

Soon enough, Vane was subjected to various pokes and prods by the nurse, asking if anywhere in particular hurt. Lancelot hovered by nervously, trying not to intrude on a medical professional’s space but he was also worried about Vane.

“Ah, I guess my stomach area feels kinda beat up?”

“Hm, that's not surprising,” The nurse scribbled something down onto her clipboard. “It’s not a fun situation there.”

“Eh?” Vane blinked owlishly. “What does that mean? That didn’t sound good.”

“How much do you remember prior to waking up?”

“Um… I think I remember… We won? That’s pretty much all I got.”

“Mm, I see.” She jotted down a few more lines and ticked in a few checkboxes on a list. She turned to look at Lancelot, “You might be the best person to fill him in. You were there, after all.”

It was not meant to be an attack towards him, Lancelot knew this—it was a factual statement. But those words shoved daggers into his heart. They reminded him that it was he who was the vessel for this. 

“I will fill him in on what happened.” He hoped he sounded less rattled than he felt. Now was not the time to be focusing on him. Vane was here now, that was something worth feeling relieved over.

The nurse nodded, “Of course. Take it slowly. I’ll give these to the doctor and she’ll probably be here later in the day to run some more diagnostics. Let me tell you, that was some work you put us through, you two.” 

Vane laughed nervously, “Ahaha… sorry about that…”

“I would ask that you not be so reckless in the future. Though, the fact that a member of the Eternals paid our ward a visit was definitely incredible. Oh, listen to me ramble, I’ll be on my way. I said it before, but someone should be here with food soon.” With a kind wave the nurse excused herself from the room.

Vane turned to Lancelot, absolutely crestfallen and despondent, and Lancelot was ready for the hurt and betrayal that he was sure Vane was about to let loose unto him. He balled his hands into fists and took a deep breath, “Vane-”

“I was out cold when an Eternal visited!?” 

Well. 

That was not the sentence Lancelot was expecting. He stared, mouth agape for a few moments. Then, he really couldn’t help but chuckle at that. The chuckling turned into full blown laughter very quickly.

“Hey, Lan-chan! Seriously, I missed something that cool?!” His voice squeaked and cracked from a week’s worth of non-use. Vane was looking distressed at this point and Lancelot felt bad for laughing, but it was probably because the relief he felt at Vane being back to his normal Vane-ness finally became a reality. He was back.

“Sorry, sorry.” Tears had started to form from how hard he was laughing. His sides started to ache a little, “I’m just. I’m just really glad you’re back, Vane. It was that Eternal that brought you back, you know. Her name is Funf.”

“You got to meet her?!”

“No! Unfortunately. Gran and Djeeta came by and relayed the details of what happened when we were both unconscious.”

“Aw man, well I hope we get to meet her someday. Gotta thank her somehow right?” Vane tried to lift his arm in victory but stopped mid-motion due to the obvious pain it caused, “Ow, ow, ow…”

“No sudden movements, please.” Lancelot’s hands hovered over Vane’s arm nervously, “Don’t wanna waste all her hard work on you now.”

“Ahaha, I guess not.” Vane yawned through his grimace of pain, “I guess a lot actually happened while I was out, huh? Catch me up to speed?”

Lancelot looked at him carefully, “If you’re tired you should go back to sleep. Now that you’ve woken up, a lot of our worries are gone.” Vane let out a tiny whine in protest. “No! I’m awake! Look! Totally not sleepy.” 

“Hm, I’ll humor you for now.” Lancelot heard a tiny “yes!” of success from Vane, “There’s not really much to catch you up on though. I told you the Grandcypher crew visited—we really should thank them properly someday,” A nod of agreement from Vane solidified his thoughts, “Percival and Siegfried visited also. They wished you a speedy recovery.”

“Woah, no way! I missed them too?”  
  
“I’m sure they’ll come back again; it was odd hearing Percival call you by your name and not some variation of ‘dog’, though.”

“You know what? That’s a victory in my books! Pretend I’m fist-pumping in victory, I feel like I’ve won.”

“Haha! Don’t worry, I can see that image clear as crystal.” Lancelot frowned, “I do wish he would stop that though.”

Vane rolled his eyes, “It doesn’t bother me, Lan-chan. He just doesn’t wanna admit I can hold my own in a fight against him. Besides, it’d be a bit hypocritical of me to stop calling me a mongrel when I can’t seem to not call you Lan-chan.”

“Vane, those are two entirely different issues - wait so you’re aware of your ‘Lan-chan’ habit?”

“I mean, yeah you’ve heard me catch myself sometimes! It’s just that old habits are hard to break, y’know?” Vane grinned sheepishly, “Believe me when I say I’m trying! It just slips out sometimes.” That earned a raised eyebrow from Lancelot, “Okay, fine, most of the time.” A nod of agreement.

“Well, it’s more of an issue in a professional setting. But I guess there’s no helping it at this point, as long as the other knights catch onto it…” 

“Oh! How is everyone else? The rest of the Order?” Vane asked suddenly, “Are they okay?”

“Everyone’s fine. Most of them got out with only minor scrapes and bruises. A few broken bones were reported but nothing more extreme than that.”

Lancelot had a feeling Vane would be puffing out his chest in pride if he wasn’t injured if the pleased look on his face was anything to go by, “Thank goodness, all that training paid off! We’ve got really great folks in our ranks, don’t we?”

“Most of that is thanks to you. You kept most of the damage at ground zero, remember?”

“Mmm, kinda? I remember the beginning, but at some point I just started running on fumes and that’s where things start getting fuzzy.” He scrunched his eyes closed in concentration, “Yeah, nope, I think getting slammed into the ground isn’t good for your memory.” He said that with such confidence, as if that wasn’t already a well known fact.

“I can try to recount what happened, if you want?” It was the least he could do.

“Nah, not right now at least.”

“But you deserve to know!”

“Yeah, but you look really on edge, Lan-chan. I’m not gonna let you do that when neither of us particularly wanna hear that stuff right now.” Something about that didn’t sit well with Lancelot, but the relief of not having to recount that horror presently was far more overwhelming. He simply nodded, “Right, I’ll tell you when both of us are ready.”

“Deal! The thing that’s bothering me more is this.” He poked at the bandages wrapping his abdomen, eliciting an “ow” from himself, “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, you really shouldn’t have. Please continue to not do that, it’s mildly stressful to watch.” Lancelot all but pleaded. 

“Will do. ‘No more poking it like a bruise’, got it loud and clear. But why’s it purple? Is this a new fashion trend,” A yawn interrupted him, “Or something?”

“Vane if you’re tired you should sleep.”

“Nooo… I just woke up!” It was clear that he was fighting the urge to sleep as his head dropped into his pillow, “Jus… just keep talking. I promise I’m awake.”

Lancelot eyed him suspiciously, but compiled with Vane’s request. “I’m not too clear on all the medical jargon, but the way I understood it your core is in a similar situation to my arms,” Lancelot tapped his own arm, “The, uh, dark magic imbued in that icicle may have leached into your flesh somehow. And since that wound was…” He swallowed thickly before forcing himself to continue, “Fatal. Since it was supposed to be fatal, the doctors are guessing you’ll be in here for a lot longer than I will be.” He looked away from Vane. 

Silence stretched between them.

He lowered his head, and bowed as deep as his sore ribs would allow him, “There’s no way a simple ‘sorry’ could ever leave me free of this misstep, but allow me to make amends somehow.”

His apology was only met with the soft snores of a Vane who had fallen back asleep. Lancelot glanced up, surprised when he shouldn’t have been, and cracked a wry smile. Of course it wouldn’t be this easy. He got to his feet with a small grunt, pulled the covers over Vane, and plodded back to his own bed and began contemplating.

Eventually a nurse did come by with food, and sighed when he saw Vane was unconscious again. He left the tray of food on the bedside table; it consisted of bread, some fruit, and soup, all things that wouldn’t hurt to be eaten cold, even if it wasn’t ideal.

Lancelot sighed wistfully as he imagined Vane’s own cooking. He’d consider himself a lucky man if he ever got to taste it again. 

* * *

The first few days after Vane woke up mainly consisted of him being awake for about an hour or two at a time at most before feeling exhausted again. That made it difficult to hold conversations for too long before he nodded off. 

When he was deemed stable enough for some rowdier visitors, the Grandcypher crew wasted no time in barging their way in. 

“VAAAAAAAANE!” All four of them crowded around Vane’s bed. Lancelot temporarily ceded his space to them; it wasn’t fair for him to get the sole benefit of showing relief at Vane’s awakening. 

“Hey, hey, hey guys! Hope I didn’t worry you too much.” Vane’s trademark wide grin plastered his face as he patted the Grandcypher’s crew’s heads. 

“You did though!” Djeeta said through a stream of tears shed out of relief.

“Please never do anything like that again.” Gran whined as he wiped away his own tears.

Vyrn had plopped himself on top of Vane’s head and buried his face in the blond locks, presumably trying to hide the fact that he too was overly emotional at the vice-captain’s recovery.

Lyria couldn’t even form sentences with how hard she was crying. 

“Oh… Aw man, I’m sorry guys. I didn’t mean to be out for that long. C’mere.” He stretched open his arms and all of them immediately surged forward into a group hug, with Vyrn abandoning his post on top of Vane’s head to join in. 

It stayed like that for a few minutes before the grumble of someone’s (most probably Lyria’s) stomach brought them all back from their crying stupor. Vane could only laugh at that. “Hey, as soon as they let me leave I’ll make you guys as much cheesecake as you can eat, yeah? Of course, I’ll make the best darn meal you’ve ever eaten before that. It’s not much, but I gotta thank you guys somehow for helping us, right?” 

The visiting quartet were visibly excited at the promise tasting Vane’s cooking again. Vane looked visibly excited at the prospect of cooking again. “Gotta love the staff here but, the food is…” He stuck his tongue out, and everyone immediately understood.

He sighed, “Man, what I wouldn’t give for a steak… Oooh or a big hamburger! I think I just kinda want meat…”

Djeeta opened her mouth to say something (presumably ludicrous) before Gran slapped a hand over her mouth. “Whatever it is you were about to say: I’m going to veto that.”

“You didn’t even hear me out!”

“At this point I don’t really think I have to.”

“Listen, all I’m saying is there’s a window, we can buy a steak-”  
  
“I’m gonna stop you right there.”

As the twins bickered over Djeeta’s idea, Vane caught Lancelot’s eye and the two of them burst out laughing, catching the twin captains by surprise.

Lancelot wiped the tears forming in his eyes before he addressed the twins. “The thought is what counts Djeeta, but I think both of us would prefer it if we could go back to normal as quickly as possible with as little trouble as possible.”

“Yeah,” Vane was still wheezing from laughing so hard. He took a moment to collect himself, “What’s that they say about absence? Makes the heart fonder and all that? We’re just gonna have a hell of a time once me and Lan-chan can be out and about!”

Djeeta pouted. Ignoring Gran’s plea of “I am begging you to drop this idea” she continued to press for action, “I’m telling you, it’s no trouble if we’re not caught!”

That elicited another hearty laugh from Vane, who just ruffled her hair, “I’m real glad you’re set on making me feel better, but in this state I don’t even think I’d be able to enjoy the fruits of all your hard work. See?” He poked himself in the stomach. “Ow. Steak’s probably not gonna go down that easy.”

“Vane please I told you before to not do that.”

“Aw it’s fine. Besides, If I’m convincing now it’ll save us the… experience of dealing with Djeeta’s, uh, well-intentioned idea. Love the energy but I'm also a vice-captain bound by duty and law,” He made a grand sweeping gesture, “So I can’t really condone that now can I?”

“Thank you,” Gran sighed tiredly, “See? I told you.”

Djeeta merely stuck out her tongue. “One day you guys are gonna accept my kindness. You will have no choice.”

“Wow! That! Sounded mildly threatening! Looking forward to it!” Vane gave her a thumbs up. Djeeta mirrored the gesture. Lancelot and Gran sighed in tired solidarity. 

Lyria clapped her hands in excitement, “We should start planning a ‘You got better!’ party for you two! It can be full of food that we’re all excited to be eating again! Like steak, and cheesecake, and maybe a fancy salad, and pasta, and… and… oh I think I’m just thinking of things I want to eat again.” She grinned sheepishly. 

Gran pat her head, “I think it doubles as speaking for all of us in this case. A party sounds like a great idea though. It’ll be good for boosting morale in addition to just being all around fun.”

Lancelot nodded, “It’s a wonderful idea, Lyria. I’m sure the other members of the Order certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it. If we can get all the details sorted out, I’m willing to give it my captain-ly seal of approval.”

“Yesss!” Djeeta pumped a fist into the air, “Guess it’s time to go meat hunting with Sarasa again! We’ll get deer, and boar, and pheasant; anything you want in particular, Vane?”

“Hmmm, I’ve been wanting to try cooking with duck again. It’s a bit expensive to get around these parts.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Oh, also remember those mushrooms you brought me from… oh damn where was it, that misty island? Those would be great to try again.” 

“Gotcha loud and clear. Duck: added to the list, mushrooms? We’ll keep an eye out for them. This is gonna be _great_.” Lancelot wasn’t sure if he liked that glint in her eye. He offered an apologetic pat on the shoulder to Gran who, for what felt like perhaps the fiftieth time today, let out a big sigh. “I guess I did enable this.”

The group sat around chatting excitedly, throwing out ideas for their grand feast, until the chiming of the hospital bells softly reminded them that it was getting late in the day. With a bunch of hearty waves and promises to visit again soon, the Grandcypher crew bid their adieu. Lancelot gently closed the door after them, and then plopped himself back down on the bedside chair, sighing.

“We’re really lucky to have those kids on our side, aren’t we?”

“Yeah… they really are still kids aren’t they? Wow, I really wish they didn’t have to get involved.” Vane fell back into his pillows. “This was… the worst possible kind of surprise for us.”

Lancelot nodded in agreement, “Our defensive strategies focus too much on outside forces getting in. I think it’s time for us to consider some more practical measures on what to do when we’ve been compromised.” He folded his hands, “Prevention would be better in all cases, but if this were to happen again… We need more concrete measures to take to ensure damage is kept to a minimum.”

He started to mumble to himself at that point, debating what plan of action would work most efficiently in a scenario, tuning everything else out at that point and getting lost in his thoughts.

“Lan-chan? Hellooooo? Lan-channnnn.” Vane reached over and shook him out of his trance. 

“Wha? Oh, sorry. I got distracted.”

“Geez… you should be taking this time to rest up some. It’s not great to worry about future events when you can’t even see what’s happening now.”

“I know, I know. But this could definitely happen again, you know this. If you weren’t there, if it had been someone else… I don’t know how it would’ve gone.” Lancelot stressed, “That thing said it would be back. I have a target on me now, but who’s to say it won’t go after other people? We’re sorely lacking in information. Manpower can only do so much.”

“That’s a fact, but Lan-chan we’re not gonna solve this in one fell swoop. You and I both know that.” Vane made a face as he admitted their own powerlessness, “But we’re just gonna have to figure this out slowly, okay? And it’s not like we don’t have support from the outside either.”

“You’re right, you’re right. It’s a relief when those captains showed up when they did. I don’t even know how to begin to thank them.” Lancelot rubbed his temples. “For now, I guess we’re just gonna have to take this one step at a time.”

Vane yawned, “That’s the spirit. We’re gonna solve this… one way or another…” He began to nod off. Lancelot couldn’t help but snort in this situation.

“Alright Vane, I think you should go to sleep now.”  
  
“Nooo… I’m still,” Another yawn interrupted him, “Perfectly awake.”

Lancelot remained unconvinced, “Yes, because that was absolutely convincing.”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Of course it wasn’t. But wasn’t it you who said you always fell asleep first?” Lancelot teased lightly.

“That doesn’t…” And that was all Vane got out as his head slowly dipped into the pillow and the hold of slumber finally overtook him.

Lancelot grinned fondly and pulled the covers over him snugly. 

“Good night, Vane.”

* * *

Strange cries woke Lancelot up later that night. 

“Nn, Lan-chan… No…! No!”

He was up and beside Vane in less than a second. It didn’t take him long to pull back the curtain that separated him and Vane and see him writhing in pain from a nightmare. “Vane! Vane, wake up. It’s just a bad dream. Vane!” Lancelot shook him as much as he was able to without agitating any further wounds. “It’s okay, wake up, wake up.”

He gasped and jolted awake and into an upright position and grasped empty air, “Lancelot!” Wherein he then immediately clutched his abdomen, “Ow… ow.”

“Vane! You shouldn’t be making any sudden movements like that.” Lancelot fretted and gently leaned him back into the pillows. “Here, I’ll get you some water.”

He poured him a glass of water from the pitcher on the bedside table, “Drink, slowly.”

Vane took the glass shakily and began drinking. A few gulps and one sigh later, the glass was empty and back on the table. A few minutes of silence passed before Lancelot tentatively broached the topic. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He made a small noise. Lancelot could tell he was indecisive about it. 

Of course, he didn’t want to push, but if he could help ease whatever had rattled Vane then offering to listen was the least he could do. Vane hemmed and hawed a fair bit, which concerned Lancelot greatly. Vane was usually very open to sharing his experiences with him, partially due to the fact that he was just extremely bad at keeping anything hidden from Lancelot, but mostly due to the fact that the two were extremely close. Lancelot worried that this past near-permanent-death experience might have shaken that. 

He mentally cursed himself. Now was not the time to be concerned about his own standing with Vane. He was snapped out of his internal berating when he heard Vane take a deep breath.

“Lancelot,” The usage of his full name was enough for him to realize this was a serious matter, “What would it take for you to hate me?”  
  
That question caught him off guard. Lancelot tilted his head in confusion, “What do you mean?”

Vane hesitantly began to elaborate, “Just… what’s the worst thing you think I could possibly ever do to you.”

“I…” Lancelot was at a loss for words, “I don’t know? The time you threw up on my favorite shirt was pretty annoying, I guess?”

“I’m being serious here!” Vane sputtered.

“So am I!” Lancelot shot back, “Vane, this is an impossible question to answer; I don’t think I could ever hate you. What is this about? Please, I want to help but I can’t if you don’t talk to me.” He was not above begging at this point. 

Vane let out a high pitched groan as he realized that he wasn’t getting anywhere with this without telling Lancelot any details. “Can you promise me you won’t be mad?”

That plea did nothing to ease Lancelot’s worries, and the fact that Vane was still so cagey had him on edge, but he couldn’t lie to Vane, “I’ll do my best.”

A small noise escaped Vane, “Okay, okay that’s fair. I guess I can’t expect that like this.” He took a deep breath. “I had a dream about this whole thing. The possession, the fight, it was like I was just watching a replay of the whole thing. I saw every move both of us made, I saw where I could’ve done things differently—better, even. The only thing different was how it ended.”

He paused for a long moment, like he was unsure if he should actually continue or not. Lancelot nodded encouragingly. 

“The fight ended, and you were… you died.”  
  
Ah. This should have surprised Lancelot more than it did. 

Still sounding unsure of what Lancelot’s currently blank face meant, Vane pushed on in a small voice, “Well, n-not physically, I think. But, I-after I headbutted you and I got free, I had to keep fighting you. I had to keep fighting that thing. And I guess there was just a moment where I was stupid and slipped up and then I had the icicle in me.” He moved his hand over his abdomen, where the wound was still slowly healing, “I remember staring—just looking into those eyes. They weren’t yours anymore. You were just gone. There wasn’t a hint of you left.” His voice started to get shaky, “I tried, I tried for as long as I could still speak. I called out, I tried, but it just…” He covered his face and everything that followed came out muffled by his hands, “I couldn’t get you back. I failed. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Vane was sniffling, and trying to wipe away his tears. Lancelot silently moved to sit on the edge of his bed and gently smoothed down his back, silently encouraging him to let it all out. Only once the crying had stemmed did Lancelot speak.

“Vane, how could I possibly hate you for trying your best?” Those were really the only words Lancelot could use. It was the most blatant, straight-forward way he could think of to address Vane’s fears.

“But I was-”

“No buts. You should never blame yourself for a mess that someone else started. It would be absolutely hypocritical of me to berate you for not solving this debacle faster; especially since it was on me in the first place.”

Vane still sounded unconvinced, “But I’m the vice-captain. It's my duty to help the captain. How do I help a captain that’s not there? What good is a vice-captain if he can’t do that?”

He shook his head in insistence, “I’m telling you Vane: there is no _possible_ way that anyone can fault you for _any_ of this occurring. If they do, they’ll have to answer to me.” His voice turned much darker than he intended, but it matched his conviction at least.

“No! That defeats the point of me helping you if you’re the one who’s helping me in the end!”

“You can’t possibly expect to not receive any help from me at all! That’s ridiculous!”

“That’s-! That’s absolutely not what I’m saying! I’m saying if I’m adding to the things you have to do then I’m not fit to be vice-captain!”

Lancelot knew Vane’s opinion of himself was far harsher than it was with his opinions of others. He had been there for all the good and bad days; the days where he proudly declared what he had accomplished, the days where he was absolutely devastated by what he couldn’t quite reach, and all those in between. There was certainly no easy or quick solution to it, but he did his best to remind Vane of how _good_ of a person he was. 

“Vane listen, you did everything you could, and in the end everything will be okay.”

“But I got lucky this time.” His brows furrowed, “What if next time something worse happens? It’ll be worse for sure and if we’re not ready-”

This was quickly starting to get tiresome, “But we _will_ be ready. Look, we’ve got this experience to work on now. I’ll have to be on guard for that thing, but now we can plan. We know somewhat what we’re going up against. I can take precautions.” Lancelot knew Vane was right on some level, but at this rate he was willing to spout half-truths if it meant easing both of their worries for now.

“But _I_ _can’t_ , Lan-chan. I can’t protect you when you’ve already been hurt. You’re irreplaceable! You could accomplish so much, so much more than I could even think or doing. You have the drive, a-and the ambition, and the focus to know what you have to get done. It’s amazing what you’ve done already, it’s so cool! I’m small peanuts compared to that. Whatever happens to me just happens, I already had that all figured out. I’m sure you did too. But I still want to be there for you.”

Lancelot’s breath stopped.

Vane, sensing that something about his demeanor had changed drastically, became concerned. “Lan-chan? Lancelot? Are you okay?”

Lancelot stared at him; it took him more than a few moments to comprehend that statement and the question that followed. By now, he should’ve known to expect this coming from Vane. Ever since they were children he knew Vane’s praise of him and his heroics were because he believed them to be genuine. And by god, did Lancelot try his hardest to live up to those beliefs, to not disappoint Vane, even though the man had already seen him during his lowest lows and still held absolutely nothing against him. Perhaps he was just still overwhelmed by everything that has happened and he was finding a way to subconsciously process how torn to shit everything had gone, but Lancelot was absolutely incredulous.

There was not a single moment since he woke that Vane spent worried about his own self. Every question he had asked had pertained to the health of the city, the health of its citizens, even Lancelot’s own health. The only time he took to think about his condition was when the nurses and doctors came to check in on him. Even Lancelot had asked extensively about how he was physically, how much he could strain himself. 

Vane was by far and wide the single most severely wounded case they had coming out of this conundrum. This man, who had spent the past hour painfully baring himself and his fears out in the open, and then somehow pushed aside all his burdens just as quickly to make room for a new concern, was still worried about Lancelot. The man lying in front of him was littered, head to toe, with the most medical dressings Lancelot had ever seen on one human being, and he had the audacity to ask if _he_ of all people was okay. As if _he_ was not the one who was responsible for this in the first place. 

The worst part was, he knew Vane was absolutely genuine with his concern. It was always genuine. His expression was sincere; a brow furrowed as he bit his lip in worry. Vane began to look really concerned though when Lancelot didn’t respond, “Lan-chan? Oh no, I knew I shouldn’t have-”  
  
“That’s not it.” His voice was quiet, though anyone would be able to tell that there was a barely contained rage hovering beneath those words. 

“Lan-chan?”

“You… You…! _Vane._ ” Lancelot lifted his head up sharply and pointed his gaze at him with such intensity that it caused Vane to jump a little.

“Why?” He could feel tears threatening to spill over, “Why _didn’t_ you just end me when you had the chance? I’m nowhere near as amazing as you think I am, I’m in no position to keep receiving such kindness from you.”

He was hoping for a better time to address this, but unfortunately, emotions overpowered logic sometimes. 

Vane’s silence did not do anything to stop him. His hands were clasped together as he waited for Lancelot to continue, “That whole time, you were on the defensive. I know you were. I know what you’re capable of, I know you could’ve beat me in that state, so _why_? I hurt you so badly, so irredeemably badly, and you think I’m worthy of your praise? Of your forgiveness? Of any of you? Why?” 

No answer. Lancelot pressed again, a little more desperately this time.

" _Why?"_

The silence lingered for a few moments, broken only by the sounds of Lancelot’s ragged breathing. 

Vane was the first to break it, “Because it wasn’t you. I knew you were in there, and if I ended it, you would’ve never had the chance to come back.” He said this incredibly softly. His large frame was shaking gently.

Lancelot’s breath hitched. 

“If I-If I ended you, I wouldn’t have had the chance to hear you say all this.”

There were absolutely tears now. He could feel them spilling over the edge, and evidently Vane could see them too; which caused him to panic. 

“Lan-chan!? Lan-chan, what’s wrong? I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” Vane fretting and worrying over him just caused more tears to spill. Lancelot felt pathetic at this display, but it also felt a little good to have everything he had pent up flow out of him. 

“Why do you say sorry when you’ve done nothing wrong?” Lancelot clenched his fists. He was sure that if his hands had regained any more feeling he’d be wincing from the force his nails dug into his palm. “You’ve done everything so perfectly right, and yet you still take blame? You call me amazing, but it’s you who’s amazing, Vane. Truly, it’s you.” 

Lancelot was angry, infuriated. He was incensed at this man, so kind and compassionate and so willing to take on the burdens of others in addition to his own even when it wasn’t any of his business—

That was a lie. 

He could never be angry at Vane. He knew it was really himself he was angry at. Too weak to resist the outside force that overtook his mind; too slow at getting rid of it before it caused so much damage. Was he even strong enough to be captain anymore?

It was only thanks to Vane that he even managed to dispel it at all. For every time Vane yelled his name, poured his belief into his captain, his best friend, a ray of light emerged and cut through the darkness that fogged his mind. When he startled the entity with that decisive head smash, that rattled it enough for Lancelot to give one last effort with everything he had to push the foggy darkness out of his mind.

And he didn’t even do that properly. 

Vane had still suffered due to his lack of diligence. 

“When it was my fault that all this happened, when I haven’t even begun to make amends for what I’ve caused, you come in and shoulder it as if it was you who had done it.” His face contorted in sadness and anger, “It’s not right for you to be acting like this. Please, don’t apologize.” 

Vane just stared at him, mouth opening and then closing as if he thought to say something, but then thought better of it. He looked quietly down at his hands, and the image reminded Lancelot of a kicked puppy. 

God, even now Lancelot was still finding ways to mess up. He wiped at his face in an attempt to clear it of the unsightly tears he shed. He sniffled. Some captain he was.

“Hey, Lan-chan.” He looked up reluctantly at that and saw Vane, arms opened just enough for him to take that as an invitation for embrace.

And by god he was going to take it. 

Lancelot all but collapsed into Vane’s arms, burying his face into the warmth of Vane’s shoulder. Vane did the same in return, his large arms embracing him in a comforting hug. 

“You know,” Vane muttered, “Usually it’s me doing the crying.”

Lancelot snorted into his shoulder at that, “Well, you know. Captain privileges this time.”

“...Sorry you had to use your captain privileges on this.”  
  
“Vane, I just told you: no apologizing.” Lancelot removed himself from the embrace to look him in the eye, “I meant that.”

“Yeah, but like, I can’t help but feel like if maybe I searched a little harder we could’ve found something that prevented all this…”

“Stop. Vane, please just stop.” Lancelot tiredly placed a hand over his mouth, “I don’t know how else to tell you that you are literally the last person to be shouldering any blame here.”

He removed his hand when he was sure Vane wouldn’t argue with him anymore. 

The beds weren’t exactly spacious, but Lancelot pressed himself against Vane and relished in the warmth. “I’ve felt this was coming for a long time, to be honest. Maybe not the events that unfolded here today specifically but, the fact that I would mess up in a big way was something that was inevitable. Like it was all building up to something. Maybe it’s still building up.” 

Given the circumstances, there was so much to take in, so much new information to worry about, so many new precautions they had to take now. It was another burden added to the ever present weight of responsibility Lancelot felt as the Order’s leader.

Vane shifted a bit to adjust to his new companion in bed as he continued to listen. “For a while, I felt like I’ve been slipping. Ever since the Sylph incident, it’s been slowly getting harder to keep all of Feendrache in check. Or maybe it was always this hard and I was disillusioned by how easy Sylph’s magic made everything seem. Some days it felt easier; like we were making big strides. But while our numbers have been growing, so have the number of unknown threats that plague us. Maybe the stress of anticipating everything has gotten to me. Some part of me still wishes Siegfried was captain; I don't know if I was ever really ready for this.” He sighed, “It was my hubris in thinking I could keep everything in check that brought about all this. I don’t know how to best make up for this, but as captain I have no choice but to try.” 

At some point, Vane had started to stroke his hair. Lancelot wasn’t sure when it had started but it was welcome, and he leaned into the touch. 

“Lan-chan, you say I’m too hard on myself sometimes, but have you heard yourself talk?” Vane lightly flicked Lancelot’s forehead, which elicited a small “ow” from Lancelot, “That’s what a vice-captain is for though: giving support to the captain through thick and thin. Even if I shouldn’t bear burdens meant for you, I can find other ways to ease them. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll find it.”

Lancelot pouted a bit and rubbed where his forehead had been lovingly assaulted, “You think it was hubris on my part thinking I could ever change anything?”

“Hm… I think hubris is too harsh of a word. Maybe not everything you wanna get done will get done, but it's a start.” Vane nuzzled his face into Lancelot’s hair, “Like, you overhauled the examination system for knights; I think that’s a big step forward. You planted the seeds for a garden. It’ll bloom eventually, even if you’re not here to see it.”

Lancelot sighed. Whether it was in contentment or dissatisfaction, he didn’t know. The two lay in comfortable silence.

Vane spoke up quietly, “Hey, Lan-chan, can we stay like this a little while longer? I know the bed’s not exactly the comfiest but… This feels nice.”

Lancelot nuzzled into Vane’s chest, “Who am I to refuse a request that aligns with my wishes?”

“Mm, thanks Lan-chan. I may just fall back asleep, though.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t. It’s the middle of the night, after all.”

Lancelot was feeling rather tired himself. He could feel himself dozing off in the warmth of another pressed against him. Eventually, he heard Vane’s breathing become even and deeper. 

Surrounded by a comforting warmth, he let the rise and fall of Vane’s chest lull him to sleep. 

* * *

Lancelot awoke the next morning with his back aching. 

“Morning, Lan-chan.”

“Mmm… Morning, Vane.”

“I think… my arm fell asleep… and is still asleep.”

“Ah, what a coincidence. So is mine.”

And they laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this........ is not how hospitals work.... i dont know how they work
> 
> also i made this resolution too fucking long i have to squeeze in another chapter jdkfkjfd sorry i just want them to be tender a lot

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by that one comment onoyu made abt dark!lan-chan. it gave me brainworms
> 
> sorry :c


End file.
